I knew he was in there and he was gon' tear m'ass up.

Hi ho, Stuffed Pheasant here reporting from the 1200 block of Lagoon Avenue in Uptown Minneapolis...

...where Pharrell Williams, N.E.R.D. frontman and hip-hop/pop producer extraordinaire is hanging at this very moment, making the masses of midwestern 16 year old boys go absolutely nuts in the rain. Status, as I understand it, is carrying Pharrell's clothing line Billionaire Boys Club exclusively for the area and so he's onsite for the store's grand opening, with N.E.R.D. in town to open for Kanye tonight along with Rihanna and Lupe Fiasco. Why do we care? Because Pharrell Williams is really fucking cute. I just strong-armed my way past the masses of midwestern 16 year old boys and then security and Pharrell just asked me to marry him and now he's gon' tear m'ass up. Cute!

From the looks on the faces of the 16 year old boys who were not let in as they huff and puff and make their best "WTF man!" expressions then do their best to peer into the windows as they wait in the rain, N.E.R.D. is probably playing right now. I didn't stick around for that, as Pharrell will be coming to my place after the show. And he's NOT bringing Kanye with him! That dude is a drag and wears retarded sunglasses.