Posts
Let's not bury the lead on this one: I cried during the True Colors Tour. Okay? There. I said it. I may be a hard-nosed, hard-charging, high-powered, ass-kicking, red-blooded American bitch, but does a bitch not bleed? We do, my friends, we do, especially in the presence of 80's New Wave royalty. And homosexuals. The gays make us cry, and not in the way they make Pat Robertson cry.
We had box seats (haha, BOX, like vagina, so appropriate considering the number of lesbians in attendance), given to me by a local ad agency as payment for mounting a moose head they intended to hang in their lobby. (They requested the addition of a propeller beanie to the moose, something I struggled with professionally, as I always aim to please the client, but also to respect the dignity of the fine creatures I work with. Ultimately, we compromised on a rabbit fur lined bomber, which is the sort of hat I feel a moose would wear if moose wore hats.) Unfortunately, there was no big screen to enhance our viewing experience, so the performers looked like tiny ant people and it was really like we had nosebleed seats, only with a private bathroom.
We missed most of The Cliks (because the show started at 6:30, while I was finishing my beer and nachos at a nearby bar), which I now regret a little bit after hearing their singer perform with Cyndi during her set, as he was very good. THIS JUST IN: He used to be a she. Oh, okay. That explains some things.
Tegan and Sara were quite enjoyable, though they didn't really get a chance in their short set to rock out as much as I suspect they are capable of. They did "Walking with a Ghost," and I thought again how every time I hear that song it sounds like "smoking with a ghost." Does anyone else hear it that way? Anyway, I'm a fan and I would probably get all fluttery inside if one of them came on to me.
I'm not going to talk about Rosie O'Donnell because she didn't actually perform music and I am too lazy to extend this summary into the "comedy/storytelling/angry lesbian with a dead mother" territory.
On then, to The B-52's! God bless The B-52's for still being alive. Oh, except I've just learned that one of them isn't. I'm an asshole. Umm. Some fun facts: Cindy Wilson is the only hetero B-52. Kate Pierson and her lady love run a very groovy motel in the Catskills. Fred Schneider's vocal technique is called "sprechgesang." Keith Strickland dedicated a song during the show to Ricky Wilson, who I now gather was Cindy's brother and died in 1985 from complications of AIDS. I really have to start doing research in advance.
Well, those kids put on a damn good show, and they didn't even seem to despise performing "Love Shack." There was a man dancing very excitedly in the aisle during most of their set, and the way he was silhouetted with pink lighting in the background made it look like a very gay iTunes commercial. And you know what? He looked so happy, I'd buy whatever he was selling.
And finally, Cyndi Lauper. Okay, it's like this: There are some performers that you don't really expect to see live in your lifetime, because while you may appreciate them and be aware of the fact that they are legends, you're not, like, their number-one fan and you wouldn't readily shell out a bunch of cash for a ticket. Cyndi Lauper was like that for me. She's So Unusual came out before I could walk, and I'm glad that I've grown up in a world in which Cyndi exists, but I didn't think too much about it before seeing her. And it must be all the Betty Friedan I've been reading lately, but it finally struck me during her performance that I am deeply, deeply grateful for her existence, and if I ever had a baby girl I would want to teach her to dance to She's So Unusual. And so yeah, I cried during "Time After Time." IT IS A BEAUTIFUL SONG, OKAY??? GOD.
In the end, all the bands came out for a final encore and a bunch of balloons of all colors and sizes fell from the ceiling as they performed "Everyday People." It was like gay Sesame Street. And then, surprise surprise, they ended with everyone singing "True Colors," and the backdrop lit up with neon letters spelling out "equality," and I thought about the nice lesbian couple in the front row who told Carson Kressley they'd been together for 13 years and I cried again.
OH MY GOD, SO PAINFULLY EARNEST.
As a demonstration of my support for the cause, I'm currently working on a mounting of two squirrel bucks in flagrante delicto, which I plan on shipping to Michele Bachmann's office.
Probably that won't help anything.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
OMG. If you are referring to the "man" dancing in front of the stage by Kate then you must be referring to my good friend, who is undoubtedly a woman! I loved the true colors tour as well, what a great night. If you get a chance to see T&S do their own show, you will not be disappointed. They are truly amazing. But not as great as the b-52's!! Seriously, were you referring to the person in the front of the stage????
Alas, my iTunes dancer was farther back on the main floor in the left aisle. Please reassure your friend that I did not mistake her for a man, though I am glad there were enough people dancing crazily to cause this confusion. It was definitely a great show.
Post a Comment