Friday, March 27, 2009

3/27-29/09

DEERFOOT
WEEKEND

Friday

Mainfestation Pre-Show with Cecil Otter, The Battle Royale, Big Cats and El Guante @ 7th St Entry, 7 bucks, 4:00. (AA)

Substance Presents Manifestation with Sage Francis, B. Dolan, Building Better Bombs, Cecil Otter and The God Damn Doo Wop Band @ First Avenue, 13/15 bucks, 8:00. (18+)

Ariel Pink, Cryptacize and Haunted House @ Triple Rock, 12 bucks, 10:00. (18+)

The Evening Rig, The Millionth Word and The Remote Age @ 7th St Entry, 6 bucks, 9:00. (18+)

Self Evident, Dallas Orbiter, All the Way Rider and Guzzlemug @ Hexagon Bar, 9:00.

Distant Stations: A Tribute to the Mountain Goats with shugE, Bill Caperton, Gentry Boeckel, Ben Cook-Feltz, Ian McCowan, Brian Whitson, Nightwolves, Chris Koza and Tiger Gash @

Me and My Arrow, The Idle Hands and Sun in the Satellite @ Uptown Bar, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Shit Yeah Girl, Hearts for Andrew, Claw Like Things and The Funeral and the Twilight @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

CWN ANNWN, Quazar, The Skintones and Orange Blank @ Stasiu's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Saturday

Birthday Suits, Gay Witch Abortion, Double Bird and Loose Limbs @ Triple Rock, 6 bucks, 9:00.

Astronautalis, Bleubird and Cecil Otter @ Uptown Bar, 6 bucks, 9:00.

The Rockford Mules, The Pack A.D. and Luther and the Devil @ Turf Club, 9:00.

Sunday

Chickadee Mountain Martyrs, Everthus the Deadbeat and The Ex-Lovers @ Nomad.

House of Mercy Presents We are the Willows, Alison Rae and House of Mercy Band @ Turf Club, 9:00.

Barton Stink, Tough Tough Skin, Entropist Monk and Red Means Go @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Monday, March 23, 2009

3/23/09



That turkey hunter's gone a little overboard.

Monday

Ghostband, Brutal Becomings, Tim Glen and Take Acre @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

The Yum Yums, Skipper and The Bluebirds @ Memory Lanes, 10:00.

Friday, March 20, 2009

3/20-22/09

DEERFOOT
WEEKEND

Friday

The Blind Shake, Haunted House, Velvet Davenport and Leisure Birds @ Hexagon Bar, free, 9:00.

Mel Gibson and the Pants, Hyder Ali (CD Release) and Kristoff Kane @ Turf Club, 5/6 bucks, 9:00.

Total Fucking Blood, Kill to Kill, Small White and Eye of the Great Protector @ Triple Rock, 5 bucks, 10:00.

Story of the Sea, Traindodge, Self-Evident and The Great Shark Hunt @ Uptown Bar, 5 bucks, 9:00.

FoodTeam @ the Dakota, 5 bucks, 10:30.

Saturday

The Danforths, The Deaths and The Nina The Pinta @ Turf Club, 9:00.

Supercollider, Coltrane Motion, Prozac Rat and G-Biz @ Hexagon Bar, free, 9:00.

The Wannabe Hasbeens, Future Antiques, 3D Jamboree and The Arrest @ Triple Rock, 6 bucks, 9:00. (18+)

Sunday

Little Man (solo) and John Ewing @ Turf Club, 9:00.

"Afterbirth of the Cool" featuring Jim Anton, Tommy Barbarella and Stokely Williams @ Kitty Cat Klub, 9:00.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

3/19/09

YAAAAAAAAAWN


Not much happenin' in town what with everyone and their second-cousin down South.

But we'll be here tonight, and perhaps you oughta be, too. Just a suggestion.

Count Vesuvius, Chibalo and Central Division @ 7th St Entry, 5 bucks, 8:00. (18+)

Monday, March 16, 2009

3/16/09



















Fun times in the Midway tonight!

First, head over to the Dubliner for a St. Patrick's Day Eve tent party. Starts at 7:00 with Private Dancer, followed by Gay Witch Abortion at 8 and The Blind Shake at 9. 5 bucks gets you in.

Then, head over to the Turf Club for Black Lips, Gentleman Jesse & His Man and Vampire Hands, 13 bucks if you can get your hands on a ticket, doors are stated as 8:00 but I'll bet if you stay for Blind Shake you'll get to the Turf at just about the right time.

No tickets for Turf? Then head over to Big V's for Camel of the Sea, Oui Bandits, Lazer Forever and Living Ghost. Probably about 5 bucks, probably open the doors around 9.

Friday, March 13, 2009

3/13-15/09

DEERFOOT
WEEKEND

Friday

Har Mar Superstar, His Mischief (CD Release), The Dynamiters and Leisure Birds @ Turf Club, 9:00.

Raphael Saadiq @ the Fine Line, 22/25 bucks, 8:00. Seriously good Raphael Saadiq song. That fuckin' tuba line, man. Awesome. If you're not afraid of $20+ shows at the Fine Line like I am, go to this.

Mark Mallman, Crisis Line and Grey Coats @ Triple Rock, 7 bucks, 9:00.

The Honeydogs (CD Release), The Hopefuls and Caroline Smith & The Goodnight Sleeps @ First Avenue, 10/12 bucks, 8:00. (18+)

Fat Kid Wednesdays @ Cafe Maude, free, 9:00.

High On Stress, The Hard Left, Kruddler and The 757s @ 7th St Entry, 6 bucks, 9:00. (18+)

The Rockford Mules, John Swardson and the Get Gone and The Evening Rig @ Uptown Bar, 5 bucks, 9:00.

The Diealones (CD Release), The Fundament and The Sinks @ Stasiu's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Tarlton (CD Release) and Now, Now Every Children @ 7th St Entry, 6 bucks, 4:30. (AA)


Saturday

SXSW Sendoff featuring Solid Gold, Jeremy Messersmith, Gospel Gossip, First Communion Afterparty, The Idle Hands and Bella Koshka in the Mainroom, DJs in the VIP Room and film screenings @ First Avenue, 3/6 bucks, 5:00. (18+)

Vampire Hands, Lookbook and DJs Solid Gold and Peppermint Coffins @ 7th St Entry, 5 bucks, 9:00. (18+)

Tricky @ Fine Line, $26.50/31.50, 8:00.

Awesome Snakes, The Red Pens, Strut and Shock and Box Thieves @ Hexagon, free, 9:00.

Fuck Knights, The Runnies, G-Biz and The Softrocks @ Kitty Cat Klub, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Corpse Show Creeps, Virgin Whores, Bad Conduct and The Bloody Turncoats @ Eclipse, 7 bucks, 7:00. (AA)

Heiruspecs, Mayda (CD Release) and Jimmy 2 Times @ Triple Rock, 14 bucks, 9:00.

Charlie Parr, Too Many Banjos and Drew Peterson @ Turf Club, 6 bucks, 9:00.

Foodteam @ Cafe Maude, free, 9:00.

Dance Band, Man is Doomed and DJ Gigamesh @ Big V's, 9:00.


Sunday

Amen & the Hell Yeahs, Dynamiteasaurus, Dingus and The Funeral and the Twilight @ 7th St Entry, 5 bucks, 8:00. (18+)

Bitter Spills, Mike Nicolai plus RIOT ACT Reading Series with Ruth Kohtz, Jeff Smieding, Paul Dickinson and Laura Brandenburg @ Turf Club, 3 bucks, 7:00 reading, 9:00 music.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

A meaty, furry night.

Thanks to everyone who came out for our inaugural Live Music/Dead Meat show last night, and extra special thanks to the Turf Club for having us, Dante & the Lobster, The Softrocks, Lookbook and The Guystorm for sharing their fantastic music with us, Craig of Gastro Non Grata for pouring wine, Landon Schoenfeld for preparing an awesome meal and to elk and bison for being so damned tasty when covered in squirtable cheese!

Thanks also to the guy who stopped by the meat table to tell me what kind of meat stick he was (venison). I am glad folks in the community are taking advantage of KHO Appreciator's test to learn a little more about themselves. We can all benefit from self-discovery.

And thanks to Amber from City Pages for snapping these great photos!

Here are a few pictures our deer friend (clever) Robyn took in between bites of elk.


Your Chief Taxidermist serving up meat at the pool table



Landon's leftovers



Nick, everyone's favorite door guy, taking in some meat. Take note - Nick's awesome band Leisure Birds is playing the Turf tomorrow.

Thanks thanks thanks all around!

We at Stuffed Pheasant are scheming about our next show as you read this. Perhaps fish. Perhaps an outdoor barbecue. Perhaps more taxidermy. Perhaps we can get Kent Hrbek to join us?

Call us dreamers...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Win Two Bonnie 'Prince' Billy Tickets!

Tonight!

Tonight at the Live Music/Dead Meat show (if you haven't a clue what I'm talking about, scroll down) we will be giving away many door prizes which may be of little consequence to many of you. BUT there is one that may pique your interest more so than a bait bucket - two free tickets to the Bonnie 'Prince' Billy show at the Walker next Thursday.

All because we love to see you smile.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What Kind of Meat Stick Am I?: A Psychometric Assessment with the KHO Appreciator


Hey Gang,

I'm back!! Did you miss me? You must have, judging by the calls, letters, emails and flowers! Anyhow, I’m back where I belong with two feet planted firmly in the blogosphere. So what’ve I been up to? Well, the fact of the matter is that blogging just isn’t paying the bills yet (no affront to you, Madame Editor!!), so I’ve had to focus my energy on my daytime gig as a psychometrician, measuring the tastes, talents, and personality traits of the masses.

Well, it’s been time well spent! Just take a glance at the recent professional journals! The KHO Appreciator broke the field wide open!! As Robert Christgau put it, “he’s the Vampire Weekend of personality testing.”

I digress…

So, I’ve decided that a nice way to get back into this crazy business of blogging is by giving you a little taste of what I’ve been working on for the past few months.
I’m sure you’re all familiar with the pop-up ads for personality tests on all of the popular social networking sites. Well, have you ever wished that there was one more closely tailored to the outdoors enthusiast? One that might tell you something about the life that you live? I thought so! That’s why I’m so damned proud to present you with “What Kind of Meat Stick Am I?”. Just go through and respond to these statements on a scale of 1 to 5 (1: Strongly Disagree, 2: Somewhat Disagree, 3: Neutral, 4: Somewhat Agree, 5: Strongly Agree). When you’re done, add up your score and check out the Meat Stick Scale at the bottom to find out what you are. Now, I’m going to spare you the treatise on method and just assure you that this is an incredibly well thought out test that is incredibly accurate. So be as honest as you can be and enjoy! Also, feel free to post your results as this test should also be quite useful in helping us understand what type of authoritarianism the country is likely to slip into should the economy get much worse!

The Test:

1- I am an archetypal outdoors enthusiast...
2- Guns help us git' to gittin' 'r done...
3- I think it is ok for my employer to distribute religious materials in the breakroom...
4- A network of private armies financed by industrial trusts & cartels is probably more realistic...
5- I find that sports analogies make me feel better about certain inter-office dynamics...
6- I consider myself a bobcat in the sack...
7- You don't feed the dog good hamburger meat. Especially in times like these. Dogs eat dog food...
8- I follow through well past completion...
9- Deep seated insecurities prevent me relating to the natural world in an authentic manner...
10- The federal government should take a more active role in the regulation of cultural production...
11- Sudden interest in eastern philosophies is a sure sign of an extra-marital affair...
12- If men like Vince Lombardi were running the banks we wouldn't be in this mess...
13- A robust centrism is the Jacobinism of our time...
14- I often end up where I started...
15- I think it is ok for my employer to use sports analogies to rationalize certain decisions that negatively affect the well-being of my co-workers…
16- A private army of Vince Lombardi's would be much more efficient...
17- The rapid growth of social networking sites is the best example of the Sinicization of our culture...
18- We are entering the final stage of the current Era of Personal Responsibility...
19- I have the basic skills required to run a household by myself...
20- Marijuana's long-standing connection to jazz music is what distinguishes it from other legal drugs and makes its use another example of the Sinicization of our culture…
21- I like to work alone on projects...
22- I would describe most of my opinions as commonsensical...
23- A new spirit of commonsensicality could still save poetry from petit bourgeois charlatanism...
24- I hold most of my co-workers in high regard...
25- While I do not believe in the doctrine of biblical inerrancy, I can still appreciate novels & films by artists that do hold this view…
26- I married the love of my life...
27- Solid evidence of the existence of the Skunk Ape is out there...
28- There is less difference between deep space and the deep sea than a modern, scientistic culture will acknowledge...
29- No Name Steaks are just more convenient sometimes...
30- I find the concept of self-esteem silly for non-Buddhist reasons...
31- We need another Emerson to clearly articulate the importance of Teamsmanship...
32- The flat tax would be a commonsensical tax...
33- I think that the federal government should take a more active role in the regulation of my insecurities...
34- I provide more than enough for my family...
35- I am an active participant in a number of membership organizations related to gun rights...
36- I get frustrated when a sports analogy does not make sense because I'm talking to someone that does not like sports...
37- I would sacrifice certain liberties to get the hunting season extended…

Normal Beef Stick – 37 to 50
Teriyaki Beef Stick – 51 to 65
BBQ Beef Stick – 66 to 95
Extra Spicy Beef Stick – 96 to 110
Smokey Beef Stick – 111 to 130
Venison Meat Stick – 131 to 145
Ostrich Meat Stick – 146 to 170
Alligator Meat Stick – 171 to 182Bear Meat Stick - 183 to 185


So that's it, guys. I hope it's been enlightening. Keep your eyes peeled on this fine blog as I'll be coming around alot more often from now on! Also, get yourself down to Stuffed Pheasant's first Live Music/Dead Meat event at the Turf Club featuring many local music bands and the KHO Appreciator himself (I'll be holding a single red rose!). Hope to see you there!

Outro Music:

Monday, March 9, 2009

COUNTDOWN TO MEAT.

In fewer than 48 hours, you will be putting free meat in your face. You will be pouring free wine down your gullet. You will be crossing your fingers as door prizes are drawn, hoping you are the lucky winner of that jerky. That bait bucket. That rabbit fur-lined camo hat. Or, if you are truly lucky, that South Dakota is Big Cock Country trucker hat. In fewer than 48 hours, you will be satiated and you will be stylin'.



We will see you at the Turf Club, Wednesday night.

Friday, March 6, 2009

3/6-3/8/09

DEERFOOT
WEEKEND

Friday

Gay Witch Abortion, Skoal Kodiak, The Funeral & the Twilight and Mother of Fire @ 7th St Entry, 6 bucks, 9:00. (18+)

Young Brides, Communist Daughter, Speed's the Name and The Nina! The Pinta! @ Uptown Bar, 5 bucks, 9:00.

TEVS 4 Release Show with Michael Yonkers, The Blind Shake, Chambermaids and Seawhores @ Eclipse Records, 7:00. (AA)

N.A.S.A. and Mel Gibson and the Pants @ Triple Rock, 15 bucks, 9:00.
N.A.S.A.

Dirty Projectors @ Walker Art Center, 18 bucks, 8:00.

Me and My Arrow, Economy Team and The Forest @ Memory Lanes.

Troma Party with Faggot, Disel on the Rocks, Best Bitch in Show, Mercy Kill and Harsh Reality @ Stasiu's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Roma di Luna, Painted Saints and Suzanne Vallie @ Turf Club, 9:00.

24 Reasons Why, Red Phone Dispatch, Sheephead (CD Release) and Mike & the Machinists @ Hexagon Bar, free, 9:00.

A Night in the Box @ Cafe Maude, free, 9:00.

Saturday

Dan Auerbach, Hacienda and Those Darlins @ First Avenue, 14/16 bucks, 6:00. (18+)

The Gleam, Mad Ripple Hootenanny and the Bill Patten Trio @ North St. Paul VFW, 8 bucks, 7:00. (AA)

Baby Guts, MC/VL, Fuck Knights and Les Deux Magots @ Turf Club, 9:00.

The Hasbeen, Kill-Me Karebare (CD Release), Signal Fires and Skirt @ Uptown Bar, 5 bucks, 9:00.

All the Way Rider, Torch the Spires, Tonnage and Spacewolf @ Stasiu's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Funeral Party and Midnight Masses @ Triple Rock, 15 bucks, 9:00. (18+)

Asobi Seksu, Bell and Resplandor @ 7th St Entry, 8/10 bucks, 9:00. (18+)

First Communion Afterparty, the Mood Swings and the Nightinghales @ 400 Bar, 7 bucks, 8:00.

Romantica and Maria Isa @ Red Stag Supper Club, 10:30.

Hojas Rojas, The Glad Version and Inwood Radio (CD Release) @ Kitty Cat Klub, 5 bucks, 9:00.

A Paper Cup Band, Sleeping in the Aviary, USA Solid Golden Retrievers and Dirty Paws @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Hyder Ali EP Listening Party @ Nomad.

Peter Schimke and Dean Granros @ Cafe Maude, free, 9:00.

Sunday

Pop Wagner @ Turf Club, 3 bucks, 9:00.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

3/3/09

Hey. You. A couple'a good things happenin' tonight!

My favorite thing ever at 331 Club. I am exaggerating a little as it is my tendency to do so. My li'l buddy Grant (now of Lookbook, which will be playing at Live Music/Dead Meat next week take note please) is performing this evening as Sun Giant. His Sun Giant shit is amazing. I really like it very much. I would have pointed you in the direction of a myspace page but it seems to have dropped off the internet. Quick google search produced his EP and I hope it's cool that I post it right here. Go listen, and come down tonight! Grant plays around 10. He is opening for Bill Caperton and Peter Leggett, both cool and talented dudes and with Leggett fresh off a European tour with Kid Dakota. Go early for BLINGO! and tacos! Free, as always. This kicks off a weekly series Caperton and Leggett will be doing for a month of Tuesdays.

His Mischief Listening Party @ Turf in the Clown Lounge. 10ish I think? And free. They have an awesome lineup for their CD release next Friday night at the Turf (Har Mar Superstar, Dynamiters and Leisure Birds) but treat yourself to an early listen tonight.

And, if you heard the rumor that Halloween, Alaska would be playing a free secret show at the Uptown tonight, well I guess that fell through. But if you want your Dave King fix (yeah, who doesn't?) you can read this bullshit I wrote about him last summer while drunk. I read it earlier today, and it cracked me right up. That was back when I couldn't stop writing about Neil Peart's rotating drum riser. I fixate on things, I know.

Breaking the Silence: The Return of the KHO Appreciator!!


AMERICA'S BEEN THROUGH ALOT...Economic Crisis...An Historic Presidential Election...The Deaths of Rudy Ray Moore & Ricardo Montalban...The Crash Landing of US Airways Flight 1549...& The Continuing Saga of the Oct0-Mom...

One voice has been missing...

In times such as these, certain men are called upon to do more than their share for the good of all...


Captain Chesley B. Sullenberger III is such a man.

But his time has passed...

Cancel your speaking engagements and have a seat, Captain Sullenberg!

The KHO Appreciator is coming back to Stuffed Pheasant and it's happening this week!! Things will never be the same.



(Attention Hog: Chesley B. Sullenberger III)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Meate Couture


Brief Jerky


Order yours here.


Thanks Bryce for the link. Those are sexy. Real sexy.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I've got my mind set on you.

The music video that most influenced my psychological development as a child was George Harrison's cover of "Got My Mind Set On You."



This version, less so.



Though it did give me certain ideas about what it takes to pick someone up in an arcade, and since I was 7 I've wanted someone to win a porcelain ballerina from a crane machine and give it to me. I'm still waiting on that, but I realize it will take time. A whole lot of precious time. Patience, and time.