8/30 - 8/31/08

WEEKEND

Saturday

Black Crowes and The Black Keys @ State Fair, 37 bucks, 7:30.

Happy Apple @ The Artists' Quarter, 15 bucks, 9:00.

Private Dancer (CD Release), Vampire Hands, France Has The Bomb and King Kustom and the Cruisers @ Turf Club, 9:00.

Billy Bob Thornton @ Pantages Theatre, 30 bucks, 7:00. Huh?

Seymore Saves the World, Prozac Rat, The Wapsipinicon and The Pawner Society (Chicago) @ Kitty Cat Klub, 5 bucks, 9:00.

The God Damn Doo Wop Band, The Failures' Union (Buffalo), You Can't Win and The Talkers @ 7th Street Entry, 6 bucks, 9:00.

The Show is the Rainbow, MC/VL and UUVVWWZ @ Uptown Bar, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Military Special (CD Release), Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles, Nobot and Plastic Chord @ Hexagon, zero bucks, 9:00.



















Sunday

An Open Letter to Flanagan,

Dear Flanagan,

Stop being negative about the karaoke tour.

Love,

Stuffed Pheasant

P.S. Dear Everyone Else, Karaoke Tour Summer 2008 comes to an end this evening at the Vegas Lounge in Northeast Minneapolis. Please join us - we'll be dressed in blaze orange, stop by and say hello. Following this summer's tour, we will be making regular stops at The Book of Matthew Karaoke, Sunday evenings at the Pickle Park this fall.

So That's Tomorrow?

My roommate called me an idiot for thinking the Military Special record release was tonight even after being told a million times, but he's a jerk so we're even (no we're not).

Anyways, I find myself with an empty iCal this morning - :( - so I did a little web searching and came up with this shit for tonight:

Jimmy Pardo - Acme Comedy Club. This guy is not funny, unless humor can be measured in abrasive curmudgeonaiety. Next!

ARP! Release Bike ride & Mixer - Henne & Franklin @ 8PM, biking to Art of This Gallery @ 35th & Nicollet. These guys (Tiff, Ariel & Troy) put together a fucking great magazine every quarter, and I assume an equally "rocking" mixer.

Cecil Otter Record Release - The Trip Rock. Yeah he's good. "Rebel Yellow" is a good title. I bet this will be a good show.

Last Comic Standing Finalists - Mystic Lake. I totally love The Art of stand-up comedy, especially when bookended by Bill Bellamy yelling "YEAH RIGHT!" among high production costs and low expectations. Might skip it.

Uptown Brian's Birthday - Uptown Bar (all weekend). Yeah, let's aggrandize BRIAN. YEAH. In all seerz, Cosmic Comedy (I call them 'BARF') are a talented little village of people (there's like 17 people in this band).

That's a bit of what I found, but the rest I would've ripped on and someone said I have to stay positive. Sigh. I really hope that fucking karaoke tour is over.

8/28/08

THURSDAY

Culture Bully, a local blog that is markedly fancier than ours, presents A Night in the Box, Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles, SKIRT and The Floorbirds, note please that I'm am not sure about this order @ Turf Club, ?$, 9:00.

Patio Nights with One for the Team and Now, Now Every Children @ MMAA, 7 bucks, 7:00. This is the last Patio Night of the season. Have you noticed how damn cold it's getting at night. Summer is leaving us, and I don't care. Know why? DEER HUNTING SEASON.

Fuck Knights, Erik & the Savages, Baby Guts and Vag @ Uptown Bar, zero bucks, 9:00.

32 Below @ the Pickle Park, cover is I dunno, probably 5 bucks, doors are probably 9:00. I'm, like, a Pickle Park regular. I mean I'm planning on becoming one. The place is pretty fantastic. Note also $2.50 rails/domestics from 9-11. Dudes! Awesome. Note finally that as I type this Radio K is playing Violent Femmes, Blister in the Sun, which seems strangely appropriate. I do not know what this says about Pickle Park or Violent Femmes.

War @ the State Fair, free stage, 8:30. Yeah, that's that one War. Some members are no longer in the band. You know how it goes...

Marshall Fucker Band, Efinheimer and Deatheory @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Rock the Cause Presents Attack of the 50 ft Rocker in 3D with Maudlin, The Strangelights, The Debut, So It Goes, Rave the Duke of Dark and Hot Rod Hearse featuring Cadillac Kolstad @ Varsity, 12/15 bucks, 7:30.

8/27/08

Hey folks.

The Obama fundraiser/whole-lotta-good-local-bands extravaganza is tonight at the Turf Club. Advance spots have sold out, but there will be some tickets available at the door (7:30).

I hear they're holding about 100 tickets for walk-up, so there's a good chance you can still get in but don't press your luck - get there good and early!

8/26/08

TUESDAY

Parachutes (Reykjavik), Solid Gold and Greycoats @ Varsity, 8/10 bucks, 7:00.

James Buckley Trio @ Kitty Cat Klub.

Maroon 5 and Counting Crows @ Mystic Lake Casino, 95-145 bucks, 7:00. Apparently rich people really like Counting Crows and don't realize $145 could feed an African child for seventy years. Oh, and by the way, this is sold out. Because rich people really like Counting Crows.

Redlife, I Wanna Kill Every Human, Pyramid and Hey! Coma @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Game Warden: Friend or Foe?

Hey Gang,

Over the weekend, I had a few beers with my deer-hunting buddy, Lloyd (pictured to the left) . Our conversation ran late into the night, covering everything from the up-coming Fox 9 debut of KHO to his wife, Pam's recent decision to start up a dream catcher kiosk at the Mall of America. Eventually a matter of great importance made it's way into our conversation, one that Lloyd convinced me is far too important not to address in this forum. The matter of which I speak is one that causes no small amount of controversy every season, controversy that could easily be avoided if a few basic principles were discussed openly in the run-up to opening weekend. The topic, my friends, is the game warden: his relationship to each of us as individual hunters and the crucial oversight role he plays for the hunting community as a whole.

Now, like everybody else, I have a few nightmarish stories about a power-mad game warden; one up in St. Louis County nearly drove me to start up a "Take-the-Forests-Back-from-the-Bureaucrats" style militia in the late '80's! But, fundamentally, I have to say that I believe that our state's game warden's perform a crucial function, one that no amount of incendiary rhetoric from some corners of the hunting community should be allowed to diminish.


Without the warden out there patrolling our forests, every gun-toting man, woman, and child in this state would be free to run wild, wiping out protected species, racking up absurd buck-to-doe ratios, and generally creating Sadr City-style lawlessness in our pristine woods. This clearly must be avoided. Most will agree, but a few contrarians out there will surely say, "KHO Appreciator, it's as if you think us hunters are the wild animals! You can't really believe that the game warden is all that stands between us and anarchy?". Well, yes and no.

Clearly, if the office of the game warden were to be abolished, most of us would not choose to rampage through the forest like Ted Nugent, shooting bald eagles with flaming arrows. The idea is absurd. BUT, I can say with confidence that the sum total of all of the minor indiscretions each hunter is guilty of in a season would add up to a very unhealthy and unsustainable situation in our beautiful wilderness, if the proper checks were not in place; and the man (or in some instances, woman) who sees to it that these checks are in place is the game warden. Like it or not, he, in many concrete ways, stands between us and the abyss.


I'm sure some of you are taken aback by my position on this matter, for this I cannot apologize. I dislike bureaucracy as much as the next guy but I'm not one who is willing to follow that sentiment to it's logical end, neatly summarized in the phrase, "Every man for himself and devil take the hindmost". Moderation, my friends, is the key. It's time for us hunters who occupy what Arthur Schlesinger called "the vital center" to band together and speak out against the anti-regulation cries emanating from the shadows; and while we're doing that, lets also speak out against irrational, over-regulation. We can find the golden mean but it's going to take a lot of work, including reaching out to the responsible game wardens out there doing their best to uphold the laws that our legislators and their appointees have put in place. I don't know about you, but I'll take a society of laws over the alternatives any day!

(Intellectual Hero: Arthur Schlesinger)

But I don't bring this subject up just to lecture the readers of this blog on social philosophy & the necessity of law and order. To the contrary, what really convinced me that this topic had to be addressed was the totally unnecessary personal suffering that so often stems from a misunderstanding of the important role the game warden plays. Haven't we heard enough about the barroom brawls and land-battles that stem from some run-in with the warden years earlier? Really. How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man???


I feel as if I've driven my point home, maybe a little more aggressively than I had intended. But like my earlier piece on spotlighting, I think the stakes are a bit too high to dance around an issue and please all sides. I hope that, at a bare minimum, everyone out there will consider the ways the game warden works to protect the interest of all hunters. If you're not convinced, so be it. If you are, why not take a few minutes to let the warden know you appreciate his work the next time you see him out in the woods?

On behalf of all of us at Stuffed Pheasant, thanks for reading and HAPPY HUNTING!

Until next time!
KHO APPRECIATOR

(Your only real adversary this fall!)

8/25/08

MONDAY

Gary Louris and Haley Bonar @ Guthrie Theater, 25 bucks, 7:30.

Mouth Babies, Sofarra, Auspice and A Happy Gatsby @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Jazz Implosion @ Clown Lounge/Turf Club, 5 bucks, 10:00.

Dr. Mambo's Combo @ Bunker's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Supreme Privacy @ Barbette, zero bucks, 10:00.

Remember Edutainment?

I've felt no shortage of ignorance in the short time since I was invited to write for this shithole standard-bearing blog, so I thought I'd list my annotated study guide for others who are also behind the curve:

Practical Taxidermy - A Manual of Instruction To The Amateur In Collecting, Preserving, And Setting up Natural History Specimens of All Kinds
Browne is the Calvino of taxidermy lit. His prose lilts, tugging your heartstrings like the report of a Ruger No. 1V Varminter. Try not to get butterfly-stomached at the Collecting chapter.

Mounting Your Deer Head at Home
I am so happy I found this book. Like most Minnesotans, I had a baker's dozen of deer heads just laying around anyways. Lemons to lemonade. Thanks Monte.

During my research, I've inevitably grown a healthy attraction to/obsession with Sarina Brewer. If you read this, contact me.

Also, if anyone has a New York Times Select account, please lend me your login info so I can finish what looks to be a truly great article: "Taxidermy as Hobby; Novices Must Learn Many Things Before They Can Stuff Skins." Tell me about it.

8/23/08

SATURDAY

Ghost in the Water, Lookbook and Mux Mool @ Kitty Cat Klub, 9:00.

Weedeater, Black Cobra, Count Vesuvius and Bastard Saint @ Turf, 9:00.

Eclipse Records Reopening Shindig continues with Crossing Guards, Magic Castles, To Kill A Petty Bourgeoisie, Lazer Forever and Communist Daughter @ Eclipse Records, 7:00.

The Hopefuls, Welcome to the Cinema, Prozac Rat and The Golden Bubbles @ 400 Bar, 8 bucks, 8:00.

The Rockford Mules, Casanatra, Kingfield and Gluv @ Uptown Bar, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Pet.s, Haunted House, Miracles of God and Texar @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Maria Isa, Wize Guyz, Jordan Miche, Self Made and 100 Proof and Killa Capone @ Dinkytowner, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Jeff Hanson (CD Release), Chris Koza and Lucy Michelle @ Triple Rock, 8 bucks, 9:00.

StrangeLights, Chrash Flood and Kill to Kill @ 7th Street Entry, 6 bucks, 9:00.

















Rift/Robyn Hoedown with Solid Gold and some super fancy super secret super special guests @ Hexagon Bar, zero bucks, 9:00.

8/22/08

FRIDAY

I am late as always but wish to add to Flanagan's list below. If you ever see my friend Flanagan, please ask him to describe for you the difference in smell and taste between a woman's anus and vagina. It's my favorite story to relay at taxidermy conferences for the apt "meat" reference.

Records and Music and Stuff! 10,000+ LPs, Music Memorabilia, Used, Rare and Out-of-Print books with gojohnnygo.com in conjunction with Let It Be Records and Speedboat Books, sale on Friday 8/22 3-9PM, Saturday 8/23 10AM-6PM and Sunday 8/24 12-6PM @ the Cedar Cultural Center. Special performance by Self Sound Orchestra on Friday 7-9PM.

Company Inc., Loto Ball Show, Tough Tough Skin and The Softrocks @ Triple Rock Social Club, 6 bucks, 9:00.

One for the Team, We All Have Hooks For Hands and THEMES @ 7th Street Entry, 6 bucks, 5:00 (AA) 9:00 (21+).

These Modern Socks, Wishbook and Future Antiques @ Turf Club, 9:00.

Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings @ the State Fair (one of the free stages), 8:30.

The Buzzard Brothers, Acoustic Death Orchestra and Cave Music @ Eagles Aerie 33 (St. Paul), 5 bucks, 9:00.

The Slats, Rank Strangers, She Swings, She Sways and The Shortcuts @ Uptown Bar, 5 bucks, 9:00.

And in honor of Brad Paisley's evening performance in the State Fair Grandstand (45 bucks, with Jewel - who thinks she's a country music singer now just like Jessica Simpson - Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough, 7:30), here are the lyrics to his hit single "I'm Still A Guy." Enjoy.

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club

And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox

With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy

Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy


Thank God for guys, Brad Paisley. I love 'em.

Friday Haps

An off-the-top list for tonight:

Birthday Suits, Plexi 3, Real Numbers, The Sleaze @ The Hex

Dosh, Jindra, Alpha Consumer, Ghostband - 7PM @ Eclipse Records

Ecoteam, Plastic Chord, Luke's Angels - Kitty Kat Club

8/21/08

THURSDAY

Eclipse Records Re-Opening Shindig with Superhopper, Seawhores, The Danforths, Falcon Crest and Building Better Bombs @ Eclipse Records, 5 bucks, 7:00.

Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings @ Minnesota State Fair, one of the free stages, 8:30.

Chokecherry (CD Release), Baby Guts, The Knotwells and Nancy Drew Crew @ the Hexagon, zero bucks, 9:00.

Patio Nights with Storyhill and Mighty Fairly @ MMAA, 7 bucks, 7:00.

Jelloslave @ Mill City Museum Ruins Courtyard, zero bucks, 6:00.

Bulbs, Wave and Particle, Red Pens and The JSP @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Brad Senne with Meg Ashling and Martin Devaney @ 331 Club, zero bucks, 9:00.

Water Dogs: Poetry in Motion

Hey Gang,

I think those of you that read my piece on spotlighting know that I'm not one to shy away from the tough questions and moral dilemmas of our day. But just because a guy spends most of his time writing hard-hitting thought pieces doesn't mean he can't unwind and write a little poetry. Right?!

So that's what I've done for today. This will be the first of an irregularly published series called: "Water Dogs: Poetry in Motion". Every so often I'll pick one of my favorite water dog breeds - I own nine different ones! - and write a little poetic appreciation of said breed. Now, keep in mind, I never said I was William Carlos Williams. Just think of this as my humble attempt to convey my gratitude to some of my very best friends!

Today's Water Dog is: The Nova Scotian Duck Toller (pictured above is my NSDT, Cody, on his 6th birthday. Get more info on the breed at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nova_Scotia_Duck-Tolling_Retriever)

Today's poem (originally written in 11/07 and scheduled to appear in the Spring '09 edition of "Water Dog Quarterly: Next Directions in Water Dog Scholarship"):

"For Cody, on Armistice Day"

Red-headed friend, you are no stranger to me.
And though I don't often say it,
I cherish the hours spent together, lakeside, in old Yarmouth County.
Your white-tipped tail wagging,
a beacon to our prey,
cutting the crisp fall air,
you call and they obey.
Nine years, now, together we have spent.
Sacrifices have been made, but none that I regret. With you, good sir, I have shed some tears and shared much laughter
and I'm proud to say that on this lakeside there are no servants or masters.

Well, that's it guys! I hope it wasn't too personal for your tastes. It's just that a good water dog is truly the outdoorsmen's best friend, and we're all outdoorsmen here, so I thought why not throw caution to the wind and let the vast readership of this fine blog get a sneak peak into the heart of one damned proud dog owner?

I'm off for now. Please keep reading Stuffed Pheasant for the latest in local music and outdoors-related content and remember to watch Kent Hrbek Outdoors this Sunday at 10:35pm on it's new home, Fox 9!

Until Next Time!

KHO Appreciator

KHO Appreciator Shines Some Light on the Dark Practice of "Spotlighting"

Hi All,

When the sun wakes from it's slumber on the morning of November 8th, a familiar site will present itself for all to see. Thousands of Minnesotans - surely many of those presently reading this fine blog- will be locked, loaded, and decked out in blaze orange, ready to participate in the festival of life that is the Deer Hunting Opener! While the mere mention of this grand tradition surely brings a smile to the face of the most grizzled among us, it is a serious -possibly tragic- matter that I must presently address, to insure that lives aren't needlessly lost.

The topic of this blog, my friends, is the dark art of "spotlighting". Surely, many of you are aware of the practice. maybe you partook in your youth and have since moved on. Maybe you publicly denounce it while secretly engaging in it with your most trusted hunting buddy. Whatever the case may be, a few words are in order, to encourage those on the straight and narrow to stay on that path and to convince those that continue to tempt fate that this is the year to consign antiquated practices to the dustbin of history.

For starters, let's briefly define "spotlighting". In it's most simple form it involves a two or three man team of hunters tracking prey in the dark of night. One man, armed with his rifle, is the shooter. The second, equipped with a flashlight or floodlight, is the spotter. The (non-essential) third man will typically be driving an ATV. The spotlighting team sets off, on foot or atop their all terrain vehicle, into the night, hoping to catch their prey off guard. The spotter, using his finely honed senses, tries to hit the prey with his light and temporarily stun it. When he succeeds, it falls upon the shooter to seize the moment and fill the prey full of lead. Simple enough.

But it isn't quite as simple or harmless as it sounds. Every year hundreds of hunters are seriously or fatally injured while spotlighting. While one might think that knowledge of this statistic, the rules and regulations published annually by the DNR, and a little common sense might dissuade hunters from spotlighting, it simply isn't the case. Many of you reading this will still do it. I know that I can't convince everyone out there that daytime is the time to hunt and nighttime is the time to put back 12-36 Hamms and some peppermint schnapps. Nonetheless,I will ask you to try out one simple experiment that, I think, proves the danger of spotlighting and then leave it at that.

Call your son into the living room. Turn off the TV. Turn off the lights. Turn everything off. Have him hide somewhere in the room. Then, once you think your sense of hearing and smell have pinpointed his location, hit him with the floodlight! In that instant, I want to ask yourself, "When I'm out with the guys at 11pm on the night of the 8th and we've each put back a goodly sum of Hamm's, will I be able to make the right split second decision? Will I know that Dale has spotted a sixteen pointer and not my sixteen year old? Can I, in good conscience, be the shooter in this scenario? Is it worth it?". I think these questions answer themselves! I trust that many of you will come to the same conclusion.

If I haven't convinced you yet, please watch the following two-part, spotlighting related "Unsolved Mysteries" (be sure to read the comments if you're interested in the Clinton family tie-in! @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NV9x3GhE8c):

Well, I think I'm going to get down off of my high horse now. I've got some stuff I need to go pick up at Cabela's!

I hope you'll think about the stakes involved in spotlighting and make the smart and legal choice this November.

Until next time!

KHO Appreciator

Programming Note

Hi All,

As I'm sure many of you have noticed, Kare 11's recent coverage of the Summer Olympics has twice preempted the most important outdoorsmen-oriented program on all of local television, Kent Hrbek Outdoors. If you're anything like me, this has made August a particularly trying month. KHO is never more important than in the few months leading up to the deer hunting opener and to have that taken away, if only for a week or two, can be a jarring experience. Luckily, the outdoorsmen of this great state will never have to worry about KHO being preempted by a major television event again! Why's that? Because, starting this Sunday, August 24th, Kent Hrbek Outdoors is moving to FOX 9!! So when 10:35 rolls around Sunday night be sure to flip the channel to FOX 9; and, if you're not too tired when Kent & Gissy wrap things up, why not spend a few minutes with Kent's new neighbor, Dr. Jack Van Impe?

In other KHO related news, the rumor mill has it that a big KHO-on-FOX9 kick-off event will be taking place at the State Fair. Details are still pending, but I promise that the readers of this fine blog will be among the first to know. Hell, if interest is high enough, maybe we'll even charter a bus out to the fair to meet Kent & Gissy together!

Finally, be sure to keep your eyes open for a brand new column from yours truly called "Gentleman's Choice: Dispatches from the Living Room of a Kent Hrbek Outdoors Appreciator"!!
It'll appear exclusively on Stuffed Pheasant and feature the most in-depth analysis and obsessive appreciation of all things KHO.

Until next time!
KHO Appreciator

8/18/08

MONDAY

Jim Gardner @ Break-Away Bar & Grill in Robbinsdale, 9:30. Why the fuck not.

UPDATE: Rift #25 Release Party Saturday @ The Hex

UPDATE AGAIN!: Maybe you heard maybe you didn't, but the super duper secret guests are that one guy Tommy Smothers and some dudes his brother Dick - er...Vampire Weekly? er... Vampire Weekend? er...see you there!

Here comes the new issue of The Rift! From the E-Vite (evite? eVite?):

"Come out for your first chance to get Issue #25 of Rift and also hear some great music. The night starts out with DJ Tendercakes, then Solid Gold kicks it. Then we have a super special guest performance plus some other surprises. You won't want to miss it. Make sure you buy drinks on the stage side bar and help Rift raise some money as well!

Plus if your a friend of Robyn Lewis, it's her birthday party bash as well."

And I thought E-Vites were a thing of the past. Twitter Facebook event that shit Rich Mr. Horton!

A Hap

Sunday, August 17, 2008
9:00 @ The Turf

Riot Act Reading Series:
Brady Bergeson, writer for The Electric Arc Radio Hour
Emily Carter, author extraordinaire
Mary Jane Mansfield, performance artist
Laura Brandenburg, bends metal objects with her mind

8/16/08

SATURDAY

Building Better Bombs, Tirra Lirra (Chicago), Daughters of the Sun and Mute Era @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Heroine Sheiks, The Haves Have It, Sarah Johnson and The Mercury Virus @ 7th Street Entry, 8/10 bucks, 8:00.

Martin Devaney Band, Wars of 1812 and Molly Maher @ Turf Club, 9:00.

Dosh and Tim Glenn @ Cafe Maude, zero bucks, 9:00.

Happy Birthday Irv! Irv Williams Quartet 89th Birthday Celebration @ the Artists' Quarter, 10 bucks, 9:00.





The Blood Shot, The Dynamiters, Disasteratti and Sharp Teeth @ the Hexagon, zero bucks, 9:00.

8/15/08

FRIDAY




Charlie Parr, The Dad in Common and Tuesday's Robot @ 331 Club, zero bucks, 7:00.

Economy Team, Nee Nee, Sepia Tone, To Reinvent @ Uptown, 5 bucks, 9:00.

High Crimes, Pictures of Then, Marvelle and Golden Chariots of Mars @ Hexagon Bar, zero bucks, 9:00.

Flin Flon Bombers, Consolation Champ, Joey Ryan and the Inks and Invisible 2 Women @ 400 Bar, 5 bucks, 8:00.

Handsome Furs and D*R*I @ 7th Street Entry, 12 bucks, 8:00.

Bon Iver and A. A. Bondy @ First Avenue, 12/14 bucks, 8:00.

Dosh and Tim Glenn @ Cafe Maude, zero bucks, 9:00.


Black Blondie, Roma di Luna, Aby Wolf and Asylum Sound System @ Triple Rock, 8 bucks, 9:00.

















AND TOMORROW

Square Lake Film and Music Festival featuring Happy Apple, Black Blondie, The Owls, Spaghetti Western String Company, The Dad In Common, Ragassa, Robert Everest, To Kill A Petty Bourgeoisie and Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapelles @ Square Lake County Park, Stillwater, 20 bucks, 1PM-Midnight.

8/14/08

THURSDAY

Vampire Hands and MC/VL @ MMAA Patio Nights,

NOMO, Solid Gold and Beatrix Jar @ 7th Street Entry, 8 bucks, 8:00.

Supersuckers @ The Cabooze, 14/16 bucks, 8:30.

20 Dollar Love, Imperial Battlesnake, The Holy Ghostriders and Fatty Acid @ Triple Rock, 5 bucks, 9:00.

River Bottom Sucker Fish, The No No's, Kitten Forever, Sharp Teeth and Aquafox @ Uptown Bar, zero bucks, 9:00.

Romantica, The Parlour Suite and Meg Ashling @ Turf Club, five billion dollars, 9:00.



Looks like a pretty good night to me!

PETA - Politicians for the Eating of Tasty Animals

Let's talk politics, shall we?













Okay let's not.

But hey! You know the Republican National Convention is coming to town, right? In honor of this momentous occasion, we will be sponsoring the first ever Ted Nugent's Rockin' Racks Deer Hunt. The participant who takes the buck with the most points wins an all-expenses paid weekend hanging with the brave men working with the Minutemen Project on the Mexican border.

Yeah, I'm making that up. It's not even deer hunting season yet.

Don't cry, Polar Bear. We've found some other things for you to do.



If you're too old/poor/scared to get thrown in jail, there are some fun alternatives to biking down to the Xcel Center and getting yourself tear-gassed, such as:

Eight is Enough @ Turf Club, 20 bucks, Wednesday 8/27, 7:30. This lineup is pretty darn good and organizers are only doling out 250 advance tickets so if you don't want to take your chances at the door, get your tickets now.

The Liberty Parade followed by performances by Dillinger Four, Retribution Gospel Choir, Happy Apple, STNNNG, The Brass Messengers and Mama Digdown's Brass Band @ Nicollet Mall to Loring Park, zero bucks, Sunday 8/31, parade starts at 1:00 and heads toward the park, music starts around 2:30.

Take Back Labor Day featuring Atmosphere, Billy Bragg, Mos Def, Steve Earle, Allison Moorer, Tom Morello @ Harriet Island, 10 bucks (free for SEIU members, check with your local union), Monday 9/1, 11:00 gates. Tickets available at Fifth Element (2411 Hennepin Ave S, Minneapolis) or at Ticketmaster.

Ripple Effect Day Festival featuring Michael Franti, Dead Prez, Anti-Flag, WookieFoot, Matisyahu, I Self Devine and Indigo @ State Capitol Lawn, zero bucks, Tuesday 9/2, 12:30.

Wake Up World with Daily Show Co-creator Lizz Winstead plus special Hootenanny with Jim Walsh and Billy Bragg @ The Parkway Theater (4814 Chicago Ave S, Minneapolis), 25 bucks, Tues 9/2 - Thurs 9/3, 6:30 doors.

Rage Against the Machine @ Target Center, 58 bucks, Wednesday 9/3, 7:30. I'm sure all revenues from this show will go to feeding starving children or otherwise raging against the machine right? Riiiight. It appears the only remaining seats are in the upper decks; general admission sold right out. Surprised? It's difficult to express your rage when sitting in the seats, y'see.

But let's say you hate all those bands, and you're a personal hunting buddy of Dick Cheney's? You've got entertainment options as well:

According to The Boot, Visitors to the Twin Cities during the RNC will be treated to performances by LeAnn Rimes, the Bellamy Brothers, Gretchen Wilson (who is, by the way, a Redneck Woman), John Rich, Cowboy Troy and Charlie Daniels. Oh, and Clay Walker, featuring Mike Huckabee on bass. No shit.

But the fun don't stop there. The gossip pages of the Strib also add Chris Daughtry, Sammy Hagar and Smash Mouth to the lists of artists playing private events. And Politico reports that the South Dakota delegation is hosting an event at the Hard Rock Cafe featuring two-time "Dancing With the Stars" winner and country music artist Julianne Hough as well as "American Idol" finalist Kimberly Caldwell. Who knew the South Dakotans were so well-connected?

Oh, and if you're not registered to vote, you really ought to grow up and do so. If you're in Minnesota, get more information here. Otherwise, you may also Rock the Vote all MTV-style. Remember Tabitha Soren? Remember when she told us to Choose or Lose? That's right, losers, choose. Tabitha Soren says so. Tabitha Fucking Soren. Giving hope to nerdy girls everywhere in 1994.

8/13/08

WEDNESDAY

Chris Isaak is still as hot as ever, and is playing tonight with James Hunter @ the MN Zoo, 55 bucks, 7:00. I would not pay $55 to see Chris Isaak unless it was Chris Isaak naked. Is he gonna be naked?

Wow. This is some animated gif I tell you what.



Look, they have two flyers! But this one's sure as shit gonna get cut off on the right margin. SORRY!



Um... what else. This flyer might make it on here alright because it is more narrow. It advertises an event involving reggae music at the Nomad.



Since we can't afford to see Chris Isaak naked (hello to all of you who just googled "Chris Isaak naked and found my page! Welcome!) I'd say the Turf Club show looks like a good bet. Fully-clothed Chris Isaak agrees.

EIGHT IS ENOUGH - So big the Turf Club's gonna crash.

Their server that is. "What the hell are you talking about, dumbass? Turf Club doesn't have servers." No, for their website. Because this show is gonna sell right out. And by sell out, I don't mean to associate connotations of selling out in the way we used to accuse punk rockers of selling out. It will sell out in the good way, as it is all for a great cause, featuring great musical acts at a great venue. The greatest venue. Uncle Ted might not approve, but that there was my ENDORSEMENT.

So here's the big news!



Get ready to reserve your tickets!

EIGHT IS ENOUGH: THE CONCERT TO END OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE
Advance tickets/campaign donations available on the Turf Club website starting this Wednesday!

@ Turf Club, Wednesday 8/27, 7:30 PM doors.

Note that this show is being put on just a couple days before the Republican National Convention convenes in our beautiful capital city. This show is to loudly reject the Republican agenda (yeah, I can get behind that) and its infiltration of St. Paul (Grrrrr... that's right!). Most importantly, it is to raise money for Barack Obama, a music lover, who according to his Facebook page especially appreciates Miles Davis, Coltrane, Dylan, Stevie Wonder, The Fugees and Sebastian Bach (Johann, his cello suites specifically).

I can't speak for Barack but I'll bet he'd add the following to his Facebook if he took a listen to:

Skoal Kodiak
STNNNG
POS
Low
Dosh
Kill The Vultures
Josh Grier and Jeremy Hansen (of Tapes n Tapes)

All of whom are the fine folks comprising this amazing bill. Plus there will be DJs from Burlesque, Rhymesayers and special guest DJs in the Clown Lounge all night. Info booths, poster art for sale, and other surprises shall abound, as well.

So who came up with this big idea?
This event is being coordinated by Andrew Broder (Fog) and Joe Selinski (The Dad in Common). The idea was hatched over a beer at the Turf a few months ago as a way to generate excitement about the Obama campaign, motivate Minnesotans to get involved and signify dissatisfaction with eight years of Republican rule.

Tickets
Reservations may be made starting Wednesday 8/13/08 via the Turf Club website. $20 minimum donation per person.

Questions? Drop me an email and I'll get you connected with an answer.

YEAH!

8/11/08

MONDAY

Slough Feg (San Francisco), Knife World, Black Ladies (Chicago) and Castle @ the Turf, I'll be yo' sugamomma if you can't afford the cover baby, 9:00.

Black Audience followed by screening of Some Old Movie I'd Be Too Deaf to Hear Anyway (or State of the Union) @ Loring Park, zero bucks, 7:00.

I'll be at the Turf, but only because I'm too deaf to listen to a movie making me just deaf enough to enjoy a metal show. I hope these San Franciscan metal dudes don't know those other San Franciscan metal dudes. They got real mad at me for saying they missed their show. Like, panties in a bundle if metal dudes wore panties. Perhaps in San Francisco, panties are worn, then bundled. All that said, Black Audience is a great group, so if you're heading to the park I'm sure you'll enjoy.

8/9/08

SATURDAY.

Here are two flyers advertising some things that are happening today.





That second one is at the Hexagon Bar. The Yoleus is a very good band and you ought to check them out unless of course you are stuck waiting in line for the port-a-potties at the Luce Block Party. That really sucks to do unless you're really drunk and really have to pee. Then it's no problem. Last year or maybe the year before that I used one of those and was too drunk to remember to as they say 'hover' over the seat and I walked out of the port-a-potty with someone else's urine, in fact probably the urine of many people, on my behind. I was drunk and really had to pee, so I didn't mind at all.

I apologize for cutting off the right margin of that wider poster. IT'S WHAT I DO.

8/8/08

FRIDAY

WHAT THE FUCK Coolio is playing in Apple Valley tonight. Apple Valley. Coolio, in Apple Valley. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck @ Bogart's, 15/18 bucks, 9:00. Why did I commit to a different show tonight? Why? Coulda been seeing Coolio in Apple Valley. Coolio, in Apple Valley. That'll teach me to make other plans without consulting the entertainment weeklies to see which hip hop superstars of the mid-90s are playing the suburbs. Good thing someone gave me the heads-up about Dre at the Pickle Park in October and I was able to procure tickets to that show. Phew!

OH JESUS CHRIST and are New Kids on the Block really playing the MOA rotunda in two hours (5:30)? Really? Coolio in Apple Valley, NKOTB back to play malls... is the rapture upon us? Something about all this feels really awesome.

888 Fest with Economy Team, Kill to Kill, Old James, The Guystorm, Geronimo!, Young Brides, Power of 2, Plastic Chord @ Hexagon, zero bucks, 9:00.

Another 888 Fest with The Marshall Fucker Band, Mevissens, Kent III, 22 Chemicals, PocketfulA Change, Facing the Plastic, Imaginary Jack and Neutral Ron Hotel @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

And another one at Nomad. Cosmic Comedy, Radio On, Jason Shannon and Thomas Built the Wall @ Nomad, 3 bucks, 8:08 door. Har har har. Show up at 8:07 and maybe you can save your three bucks.

The Blind Shake, The Frustrations, Daughers of the Sun and The Retainers @ Turf Club, XXbuxxxxxxx, 9:00.

Kid Dakota, Haroh (CD Release) and His Mischief @ Uptown, 5 bucks, 9:00.

The Scorpions and L.A. Guns (sans Tracii Guns) @ Myth, 49 bucks, 8:00.

The Men Who Control the Weather, All the Way Rider, Max and the Marginalized (Los Angeles) and The Style Biters @ Stasiu's, 5 bucks, 9:00.

A "Slammin' Jazz Quintent" featuring Brandon Wozniak, Zacc Harris, Tanner Taylor, Jeremy Boettcher and Pete Hennig @ Rossi's, 3 bucks, 9:00.

Como Avenue Jug Band @ 331 Club, zero bucks, 9:00.

Le Cirque Rouge Cabaret & Burlesque 5th Anniversary Party @ Nick & Eddie, 6 bucks, 10:00.

The Idle Hands, Colonial Vipers Attack and Prairie Sons @ 7th Street Entry, 6 bucks, 8:00.



Hey look more fucked-up, cut-off-at-the-right-margin flyers.

8/7/08

THURSDAY

Jason Shannon Band and Bill Mike Band with MC Carnage @ Mears Park (St. Paul), zero bucks, 6:00 music starts.

JT Bates, Adam Linz and Paul Metzger and Volcano Insurance (Luke Polipnick, Joey Van Phillips and Chris Bates) @ Rogue Buddha Gallery, 5 bucks, 9:00.

Love in October, Handsome Deville, Casanatra and Butterfly Assassins @ the Entry, 6 bucks, 8:00.

Dance Band and Mel Gibson & the Pants @ MMAA Patio Nights, 7 bucks, 7:00.

Invisible Boy, Future Islands (Baltimore), Ear Pwr (Asheville) and A Dude Named Cole @ Eclipse, 5 bucks, 7:00. Some of these folks are also in the bands Vampire Hands and Haunted House, which may be bands you like. In fact, I'd bet on it.

Les Deux Magots, Kentucky Sound Arsenal, Sin Horses, Falcon Arrow and The Japanese Space Program @ Hexagon, zero bucks, 9:00.

Travis and Jonny, Capitol Jay and Ian Alexy @ Turf Club, 5 bucks, 9:00. Also seeing Broken Billy and Anthony Newes alternately billed sans Ian Alexy. Hey, don't ask me.

Dreamland Faces and Chimera @ 331 Club, zero bucks, 9:30.

She & Him featuring Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward with Becky Stark of Lavender Diamond @ First Ave, 16/18 bucks, 6:00.

We Are Scientists and The Oxford Collapse @ Varsity, 14 bucks, 8:00.

We Fest with Taylor Swift, Rascal Flatts et al tonight, Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, LeAnn Rimes, Little Big Town et al tomorrow, and Brad Paisley, Wynonna, Dierks Bentley, Billy Ray Cyrus et all Saturday @ Soo Pass Ranch in Detroit Lakes, $75/day or $175 3 day pass plus all that camping nonsense.

8/6/08

WEDNESDAY

Rock Plaza Central and Western Fifth @ 7th St Entry, 6 bucks, 8:00.

Supreme Privacy and Green Sketch @ the Turf Club, 4 bucks, 9:00.

Matt Pryor and Chris Conley @ Triple Rock, 12 bucks, 9:00. This is apparently important: Matt Pryor sings in a band called New Amsterdams and another called Get Up Kids; Chris Conley sings in a band called Saves the Day.

El Vez and Lysa Flores @ First Ave, 12/14 bucks, 8:00.

8/5/08

TUESDAY

The Knotwells, Pine Hill Haints (Alabama), Chokecherry, Bitch 'n Brown, El Truth Turtle @ Big V's, 5 bucks, 9:00. One outta town band plus four very good local bands is five dollars and an evening well spent.

Los Lobos y Los Lonely Boys @ El Minnesota Zoo, cuarenta y nueve dolares, 7:30.

Chaka, Chaka, Chaka, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan let me rock you let me rock you Chaka Khan let me rock you that's all i wanna do Chaka Khan let me rock you let me rock you Chaka Khan Let me rock you let me feel for you Chaka Khan let me tell you what I wanna do. If you wanna feel Chaka Khan she's @ the Fine Line, 41 1/2 bucks, 7:00.