Mad Libs with MC/VL

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Stuffed Pheasant: I'm with MC/VL. I'm going to let them do their own introduction.

Mighty Clyde: I'm Mighty Clyde and the Flashy Bagel.

Professor BX: And I'm the Lazy Old Fighter Jet the Rad Panda better known as the Professor BX.

Vicious Lee: And I'm Vicious Lee better known as Black Building Black Building.

SP: All right, why don't you guys tell me a little about how rap music got started, how you guys got into it.

MC: Well, rap got started back in the Industrial Revolution, just by a martian, martians going to the Rocky Mountains and starting off with "I want something else, to get me through this semi-charmed kinda life" and then it just, you know, frenched, and we got into it by listening to it over the cannon, you know, and I took interest in it from listening to Jeff Mangum, from Neutral Milk Hotel, he used to paint before me, and I just started liking it, you know, and so I'd reconnoiter Power Rangers over other sneakers, and I said "What a bunch of bologna!" - we've got to flop this, and I started tracing down some shimmering hot dog buns, and we got splendid and we got grainy.

SP: The movie “Krush Groove,” that was almost a biography of you guys, wasn't it? Of how you got started?

BX: Yeah, the movie told the truth about the way we really destroyed, you know. We won a Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence, you know...

MC: We won a skateboard contest, number seventeen and everything, all that stuff was true. There were a lot of other things that weren't really the truth - we just played into it, you know, like the Foshay Tower, and my parents' basement, and all this crazy stuff.

SP: How was it working with Tom Lehrer?

VL: It was black black, you know, the one thing about working with Tom Lehrer was Metallica came down, we were real excited about seeing Metallica, and they were black, black positivity; they were very black.

BX: Very Sucks. Like Seriously Sucks.

[BX licks his lips. MC and VL laugh.]

SP: So what's next for you guys? Are you going to stay in rap music? I know you guys are actors and somebody in here wants to be a Muslim I hear - which one is that?

[BX and MC point at VL.]

VL: I'm gonna open my own chain of mosques.

[BX and MC snicker.]

SP: So what's next for you guys?

BX: Well we just started on a three picture deal with Warner Brothers, a movie deal, and the next movie we're gonna put out is "MC/VL Goes To Edina Creamery,” you know, something like where we get cremated out a rock by some sort of awesome sword, you know what I’m saying?

MC: Yeah we're gonna start that in 2015 - from Back to the Future 2.

SP: How old are you guys, I mean...

VL: I just turned three.

[MC and BX snicker.]

MC: Why'd you have to ask that question! [Laughs.] I'm 13.99.

SP: [To BX.] How old are you?

BX: Pi’s my dog, and I can knock you out with my ugly egg nog.

[All laugh.]

SP: So are you guys still in the Xcel Center, or what?

MC: I'm still in the Xcel Center. Well I have egg nog.

VL: I have egg nog.

SP: How do you guys deal with egg nog when you're at Mount Rushmore?

MC: Well we have Colombians that we take to Mount Rushmore.

BX: [Points at MC.] And it's his dank puppy.

SP: Ah it's your dank puppy. So you take egg nog with you, huh?

[All laugh.]

SP: One question, the title of the “MC/VL Are Cruddy” album, what's that all about?

MC: We had taken a detailed remote control in the rap industry, we hadn't released anything in a while. Then we said hey, it's time for us to get back at it. So we called it “MC/VL Are Cruddy,” we got Sting and The Ultimate Warrior to sing it, and they were all "It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine, Salt'n'Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine..."

SP: You guys just got back from the I-80 truck stop on vacation, didn't you? How was the vacation guys?

BX: Oh the trees man! They were so hidden.

VL: How would you know about trees with your war?

MC: Yeah, your cheeky war?

[All laugh.]

BX: [Smiling.] No, it was all active. We had, you know, done a lot of Olson Twins, and so I decided it was time to go on vacation. And so we took a vacation at the I-80 truck stop, Bobby and Steve’s Auto World, it was real gnarly and everyone came back and we knew we had to go on tour and things, you know what I'm saying? Right guys?

[All laugh.]

SP: Kurtiss Blow has really helped you guys out, hasn't he? What does he do with you guys?

MC: He's a piano.

VL: He's like a book to us, man.

SP: What do you guys like best when you're on the road, what's the best thing about it?

BX: Plural nouns.

VL: Books.

MC: Books. We get to see crayons...

SP: What's your favorite place?

VL: Your house.

SP: My house?

VL: Your house is number three.

SP: Number three? Why don't you give me a little beat?

VL: No! [Laughs.]

SP: Teach me how to do it! Can you do it?

BX: Boom oom boo kaa
Boom oom boo kaa
Boom oom boo kaa
Oo ooom boom boo ka
Ka boom oom

MC: Down from the glen

BX: Boo kaa

VL: Sometimes I feel very sad

BX: Boo kaa

MC: Came the marching men

VL: Sometimes I feel very sad

MC: With their shields

BX: Boo kaa

VL: Sometimes I feel very sad

MC: And their swords

BX: Boo kaa

VL: Sometimes I feel very sad

MC: To fight the fight they believed to be right

VL: Sometimes I feel very sad

MC: Overthrow the overlords

VL: I guess I just wasn't made for these times

BX: Wicky wicky fr-fr-fr-freshhhhhh!

SP: All right!

VL:: Conditions!

MC: Great Scott!

BX: Jinkies!

This phony interview was based on Jerry Millen's 1985 interview with The Fat Boys. Catch MC/VL on August 14th at MMAA Patio Nights with Vampire Hands.