THIS IS IMPORTANT.

Tickets for the August 2 Melvins/Big Business show @ Grumpy's downtown are on sale now at Grumpy's and at indietickets.com.



Grumpy's is not very big. It's no fun getting turned away at the door. Back when I wasn't yet an alcoholic but had just turned 21 and was so very excited to be able to see my favorite band at Grumpy's but was then turned away at the door because, having just turned 21, I was used to going to those 18+ shows no one wants to go to and always getting in no matter how last minute and thus didn't think to get tickets well this is a pretty long run-on sentence but in short being turned away from the Melvins show at Grumpy's back when I was 21 made me very grumpy and I don't want you to be grumpy so you should get your tickets in advance while they are available, unless of course you're not a really big Melvins fan in which case I'm glad you're a fan of my run-on sentences and still reading this far and hey, don't worry about it, go do something else on August 2nd I'm sure there's something else cool going on (and no that's not a link to the Judas Priest show at Myth nor is it a link to the Nine Inch Nails show at Target Center as to point these out would be far too obvious and hey, isn't it cool that Nine Inch Nails probably can't sell out Target Center but the Melvins can totally sell out Grumpy's hell yeah it is!).

In case you haven't been geeking over the Melvins since you were an adolescent geek in a small town in South Dakota, here's the scoop. They're a sludge metal band formed in Washington when I was a wee babe. They've had a lot of bass players including Shirley Temple's daughter and that is weird. Lots of people not in-the-know came to know them because these people not in-the-know tended to be in-the-know with regards to another Washington band called Nirvana and that band has a handful of connections to Melvins. The singer/guitar player has very large hair and goes by the name of King Buzzo. The drummer is named Dale Crover and he plays the drums very well and most times that I've seen him he plays drums in his underwear or something though I honestly don't know if he still does these days and so I won't make any promises. This is not important, clearly, as the important thing is that he's a crazy good drummer whether in his skivvies or fully clothed.

Here is a YouTube collection of my favorite Melvins songs.








(I really miss being a teenager and that's the last time you'll hear me admit it.)






Just kidding.*













And I'll make no apologies for the fact that after nearly 15 years I still think Stoner Witch is the greatest album ever. I will never grow up. (I really miss being a teenager and so when I said that before it was actually the second to last time you'd hear me admit it.)

Oh, and now they're playing with Coady Willis and Jared Warren of Big Business, who played with them on the recently released Nude With Boots as well as their preceding album (A) Senile Animal, and who will be joining them at Grumpy's.

Okay, so if you're still reading this, you must either really like these Melvins or be a fan of my unorganized and never-get-to-the-point writing style. Former - go get tickets soon and I'll see you there. Latter - come down anyway and talk to me in person because believe me when I tell a story I tell the shit out of a motherfucking story and you will marvel at the fact that it took me twenty minutes to explain a conversation or event that in real-time only took two.

I'll be the one dressed like King Buzzo because sometimes I like to dress like my favorite rockstar idols because I am weird.

*See, this is what came up on the YouTube when I searched for Goose Freight Train and I totally learned that song when I was that kid's age. I still remember the words. Alfred's Basic Piano Library Level 1A Recital Book, was it? "Listen to the whistle, something something...". Glad I can still pull that out of my ass. Thanks Mom for the decade of piano lessons! See how they pay off...