Thursday, August 14, 2008

PETA - Politicians for the Eating of Tasty Animals

Let's talk politics, shall we?













Okay let's not.

But hey! You know the Republican National Convention is coming to town, right? In honor of this momentous occasion, we will be sponsoring the first ever Ted Nugent's Rockin' Racks Deer Hunt. The participant who takes the buck with the most points wins an all-expenses paid weekend hanging with the brave men working with the Minutemen Project on the Mexican border.

Yeah, I'm making that up. It's not even deer hunting season yet.

Don't cry, Polar Bear. We've found some other things for you to do.



If you're too old/poor/scared to get thrown in jail, there are some fun alternatives to biking down to the Xcel Center and getting yourself tear-gassed, such as:

Eight is Enough @ Turf Club, 20 bucks, Wednesday 8/27, 7:30. This lineup is pretty darn good and organizers are only doling out 250 advance tickets so if you don't want to take your chances at the door, get your tickets now.

The Liberty Parade followed by performances by Dillinger Four, Retribution Gospel Choir, Happy Apple, STNNNG, The Brass Messengers and Mama Digdown's Brass Band @ Nicollet Mall to Loring Park, zero bucks, Sunday 8/31, parade starts at 1:00 and heads toward the park, music starts around 2:30.

Take Back Labor Day featuring Atmosphere, Billy Bragg, Mos Def, Steve Earle, Allison Moorer, Tom Morello @ Harriet Island, 10 bucks (free for SEIU members, check with your local union), Monday 9/1, 11:00 gates. Tickets available at Fifth Element (2411 Hennepin Ave S, Minneapolis) or at Ticketmaster.

Ripple Effect Day Festival featuring Michael Franti, Dead Prez, Anti-Flag, WookieFoot, Matisyahu, I Self Devine and Indigo @ State Capitol Lawn, zero bucks, Tuesday 9/2, 12:30.

Wake Up World with Daily Show Co-creator Lizz Winstead plus special Hootenanny with Jim Walsh and Billy Bragg @ The Parkway Theater (4814 Chicago Ave S, Minneapolis), 25 bucks, Tues 9/2 - Thurs 9/3, 6:30 doors.

Rage Against the Machine @ Target Center, 58 bucks, Wednesday 9/3, 7:30. I'm sure all revenues from this show will go to feeding starving children or otherwise raging against the machine right? Riiiight. It appears the only remaining seats are in the upper decks; general admission sold right out. Surprised? It's difficult to express your rage when sitting in the seats, y'see.

But let's say you hate all those bands, and you're a personal hunting buddy of Dick Cheney's? You've got entertainment options as well:

According to The Boot, Visitors to the Twin Cities during the RNC will be treated to performances by LeAnn Rimes, the Bellamy Brothers, Gretchen Wilson (who is, by the way, a Redneck Woman), John Rich, Cowboy Troy and Charlie Daniels. Oh, and Clay Walker, featuring Mike Huckabee on bass. No shit.

But the fun don't stop there. The gossip pages of the Strib also add Chris Daughtry, Sammy Hagar and Smash Mouth to the lists of artists playing private events. And Politico reports that the South Dakota delegation is hosting an event at the Hard Rock Cafe featuring two-time "Dancing With the Stars" winner and country music artist Julianne Hough as well as "American Idol" finalist Kimberly Caldwell. Who knew the South Dakotans were so well-connected?

Oh, and if you're not registered to vote, you really ought to grow up and do so. If you're in Minnesota, get more information here. Otherwise, you may also Rock the Vote all MTV-style. Remember Tabitha Soren? Remember when she told us to Choose or Lose? That's right, losers, choose. Tabitha Soren says so. Tabitha Fucking Soren. Giving hope to nerdy girls everywhere in 1994.

2 comments:

Stuffed Pheasant said...

Ha ha.

Nice save.

Changed...

Stuffed Pheasant said...

Uncle Barry will be very upset I wasn't paying close enough attention to his PETA shirt.